This weekend was pretty awesome because Saturday I got to see Greg Klaiber’s Grabass Revue TWICE. First they played the Hallowe’en celebration at the Capitol, which was pretty cool, and was organized by Tiffianna (and her awesome coworker Tara). Then they played another show at the Reservoir. I wore my teddy bear costume, sweated bullets, and had a great time. I also got in some tv-watching (Danny Bonaduce is a douche; Torchwood is the bomb!), some knitting (further on the Oct. Six Sox – but the camera is being poop right now, so no pictures), some laundry, some reading, and some studying for the GRE. And some hanging out with friends. Yay!
I woke up this morning at five, because of a ridiculous nightmare. I have no idea what triggered it – all the upsetting stuff was so far out in left field, who the hell knows. Anyway, after trying to get back to sleep for about forty minutes, I finally gave up, got up, did some more laundry, exercised (gasp! I know, right), and am about to try and make some cookies for a work thingy today. Since I’m up, anyway. And probably hit up the GRE prep book some more.
I’ve managed to fuck up my right knee – it’s creaking and/or popping when it bends, or it’s not wanting to bend at all these days, especially if I’m trying to sit down or stand up. I think maybe it’s the way I usually sit in chairs (with my right foot on my left knee), but I don’t know. I’m not even sure how to make it stop – a knee brace, maybe? Or just don’t sit like that for a couple days and let it sort itself out? I think my body pillow might also be aggravating it, but I don’t think I could sleep as well without it, so…We’ll see. I’m tired of it hurting, though.
The only dookie thing about this weekend, is it was also a weekend of people getting all up in my personal space when they really, really shouldn’t. Like, people I barely know being overly friendly and touchy-feely*, or people I knew once but haven’t talked to in ages and I know the next time we see each other we won’t say anything, so why are we chatting now? I wasn’t trying to be bitchy, and I didn’t want to hurt any feelings – and I think I did a good job of NOT hurting feelings, and whatevs. But I’m really an introvert, and damn, people, I just need a break. How do I establish my personal space or whatever, or establish that I’m not comfortable with whatever assumptions the other person is making about my personal space with relation to themselves, without coming off like a total bitch, or even just way too sensitive? I mean, I can’t think of any really good way to ask someone to either back up or not talk to me without sounding mean and rude, but that’s what I want, so… I guess I could try to up the stand-offish, bitchy factor in general, and then once I’m more comfortable with individuals let it down – so they don’t just get up in my grill from the get-go. But I don’t know, I don’t tend to do generalized bitchiness well – I have to be angry, or have a specific focus, and even then I don’t know that it’s really effective in keeping people at a distance. And even if I *could* do bitchiness well, that might result in me *not* getting to know people I might actually like rather well. I don’t know. I want to be nice and friendly (I mean, I think I *am*) – but I don’t want strangers misinterpreting that and getting overly friendly or in my face or whatever. I think at least some of it also has to do with me being female, and that really pisses me off – like, the assumptions people make about whether it’s cool to touch me when you barely know me, because I’m a girl and I seem friendly. (When I would say I’m a grrl, and that’s a different thing entirely.) I really hate that shit – like, when strangers tell you to smile. What the fuck. Haaaate. Anyways, I thought all the shit in my face, the dye job, the tattoos, the not-shaving, shit like that would make me less approachable, but apparently not. I mean, I want to be approachable, but don’t fucking touch me until I know you better.
*I’m specifically talking about shit that happened while I was *not* in teddy costume. I mean, I *made* the damn costume to be adorable, I’m ready for people to want to hug me or take pictures or even do some mild non-invasive rubbing of the costume (it *is* cuddly polar-fleece, so as long as it keeps to the arms or back, I can handle it). In costume, it’s cool. In my regular clothes, when I’m sending you “don’t touch me” vibes and my body language I think pretty clearly indicates that you need to back the fuck up, so not cool. I almost didn’t want to post this, in case people who didn’t upset me find this and think they did; or even in case people that did upset me find this, because I’m just venting, basically. I don’t think anyone that got too in my grill was *trying* to be dookie, I think it was just a misunderstanding about boundaries, and for whatever reason mine weren’t clear enough. All that being said, this is my blog, and I’m going to vent here.
And now I have cookies to bake and some damn math to fret over. It’s been around twelve years since I had geometry. UGH. It’s coming back, though, so that’s why I’m practicing. Actually, it’s almost seven, so I need to get my ass in gear and get ready for work, so I guess I’ll have to stop and pick some snacky stuff up on the way, because there’s not enough time for cookies. Oh well. That just means when I do make cookies, there’s more for me. Bwahahahaha.
Have some pictures before I go, though. I love when he sleeps like this:
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