Here’s my weird dream from last night: me and Greg are on vacation, in like a minivan or RV or something, with Skeeter, Chalupa, the dog we’re hoping to adopt*, and a wee tiny dog. Well, we *think* it’s a wee tiny dog, and it’s in a huge crate with the other dog. And then it starts biting our dog, and our dog is crying, so I grab the wee tiny thing, and realize it’s not a dog at all but some sort of rodent or weasel or some shit, and I’m like, “Oh hell no!” We’re also driving around, looking for a place we can let all the animals out to play. So I open the van door to toss out the rodenty thing so it can run away, and I’m thinking we can get out and stretch our legs here – except when I open the door, we’re in about a foot, foot and a half maybe, of standing water that is FULL OF FUCKING LAMPREYS! Ewww! Only I threw out the rodent before I noticed the water or the lampreys, and the lampreys basically devour the rodent in about two seconds. So I shut the door with a quickness and am like, “Not fucking here! Drive on!” The end.
*The dog we want is still available at the rescue. Please, oh please, let her still be available in March, she is such a perfect fit for us and the cats. Cross your fingers for us, okay? (I mean, yes, it would be best for *her* to get adopted sooner rather than later, but we really want her. Plus, she’s like the best dog the rescue has right now, and hasn’t gotten adopted yet, and it’s been like two months? three months? I don’t know what crack rock bitches are smoking that they’re not snapping this dog right up, but it is fine with me if they keep smoking it until March, so we can adopt her. And I can kronsch her ears.)
PS – THIS is a fucking lamprey, if you don’t know. Scroll on down to that picture of the mouth of a river lamprey. Yeah. That is the stuff of fucking nightmares.
PPS – I found out a while ago that when Greg was younger he used to catch leeches from a creek with a net. I found out today that not only did he catch them and release them – but that in between the catching and the releasing, he FUCKING PLAYED WITH THEM. IN HIS HANDS. What. the. fuck. *Playing* with leeches. Leeches are fucking gross!
