Fucking American Idol. Fringe started back up tonight, and now that we have DirecTV, I get to watch it the night it airs, instead of the next day (or later) on Hulu. But stupid American Idol ran over by like eight minutes – they better have knocked out some commercials, because if I’m missing the last eight minutes of Fringe, I will be so unhappy.
And now Earthlink *can* find usps.com.
GAH!
I will be so happy when our new modem shows up (should be any minute now), and we can switch to Verizon’s internet, and tell TimeWarner to shove off.
Here’s why Earthlink (via TimeWarner) FUCKING SUCKS: it cannot find the United States Postal Service website.
How is that even fucking possible?
I just finished watching Premonition, and I want my fucking hour and 35 minutes back. What a steaming pile of shit!
Like, an hour and twenty minutes into it, something like that, they finally reveal some religious underpinnings, and I started to get uneasy – like, “Aww, shit. Is that what’s going on? This is all about her not having enough faith?” I was getting ready to be so mad. But whatever, I like Sandra Bullock (yeah, I said it), I like Julian McMahon, I love Peter Stormare, and I’d already invested an hour and twenty minutes into it, might as well finish it. Well, of course at the end, she catches up to her husband, and it looks like he’s going to be okay, and then he dies. And then -
HOLD. UP. I’m watching BBCAmerica World News right now, and they’re talking about Obama’s speech in Turkey. Why the FUCK is it newsworthy to point out, when you’re talking about him saying America will never go to war against Islam, that his middle name is Hussein? “…a president, whose middle name is Hussein…” What? What’s your fucking point, dude? I thought the BBC was above dumb shit like that. Are you making some link between him and Islam because of his middle name? Damn. Why can’t we just talk about how awesome he is, and how he’s building bridges. If you absolutely must possibly approach the whole “he’s a sekrit muslin!” bullshit, grasp at a slightly less tenuous straw than his middle name. Christ on crutches. At least there’s a professor on now who isn’t a total dipshit, and isn’t falling on that bait.
Anyway – back to bitching about this shitty ass movie. Okay, so the husband dies. Then there’s this montage that recaps the whole fucking movie I JUST WATCHED (thanks, y’all, because I have no short-term memory), while they replay what the priest was saying about, “It’s never too late to realize what’s important in your life and fight for it,” and there are all these close-ups of McMahon, and I’m sitting here thinking, “Okay, well, I might can forgive them this bullshit last-minute religious angle about her needing to have enough faith, if she gets a reset and he’s not dead.” (AND! He even died in a more violent and horrible fashion than he did in the original timeline – not just decapitated in a horrible car wreck, but then blown the fuck up in a fireball also, and right in front of her.) And expecting him to walk through the door any minute, all, “Honey, come on, we’re going to be late” – AND BITCH STANDS UP, AND SHE’S PREGNANT!!!
RAGE. SEETHING IRE.
I told Greg: If there was a god, and he dicked me around back and forth for a week so I could see your horrific death coming, as a way to get me to have faith in him, and I finally have faith, and then he’s all, “Well, you don’t get your husband, he’s going to die anyway, but you can have a *baby*!” there’s going to be a new gospel afterwards, and it’s going to be like, “Satan WHO? He wasn’t shit; let me tell you about this one bitch God scorned.” Oh hell no.
I keep meaning to make a list of the absolute vilest movies I’ve ever seen and heartily recommend you never watch in your life, and just haven’t gotten around to it yet. But trust that this utter, utter tripe is right on it. (Right next to that bullshit “Criterion Collection” Bad Timing. Seriously, what is Criterion smoking? Some of their picks I agree with, and then they pick boring-ass shit like Withnail & I, and HEINOUS shit like Bad Timing. What the fuck. I mean, what criteria are we using? Crack? Please note that Withnail & I is not on the list of shittyass movies to avoid at all costs – it’s not the worst shit I’ve ever seen, and I think there was actually like one moment I chuckled at, but it just wasn’t for me. But Bad Timing? UGH.)
Belated, but nonetheless: WAY TO GO, IOWA!
North Carolina, when are we going to get our shit together on this, huh?
Heartbroken and devastated.
Short version: the more comfortable Sabrina got in the house, the more comfortable she was with asserting herself. She became extremely possessive of me, to the point of growling at, barking at, and charging at Greg when we were close, sitting together on the couch, when he was between me and her, etc. It looked like she was working up to actually attacking him, just a matter of time and agitation.
We stayed home today to figure this out, and a wonderful behaviorist/certified dog trainer/expert, Jenn Merritt (of Blue Dog Creature Coaching, I mentioned previously), managed to squeeze us in for an evaluation. She basically confirmed what we already knew: that Sabrina is extremely unhappy, and it would be best to return her to C.A.R.E. (I can’t recommend Jenn to you strongly enough, if you need help with a dog, training, she also practices Ttouch and helps people find the right dog for them. If we decide to get a dog again, we will definitely be calling her up and getting her help in finding the right one. Our vets, Triangle Vet Hospital, who are AWESOME, love her, too, and she loves them. I’m glad that we’re so close to awesome, knowledgeable, caring, and helpful people. That’s a good thing to come out of all this.) We can’t slowly desensitize Sabrina to someone she’s already so aggressive towards, who lives in the house, and who is near me pretty often. She’s so stressed out, she won’t eat high value treats (cheese and hot dogs), and doesn’t respond to praise, so we can’t train her, which would be important for fixing this – to give her brain something to do, to stop the anxiety taking over. Basically, she gets worked up and then shuts down and is just fearful, and now it’s progressed to fear aggression, and…The best we could hope for is almost nothing. She’d still be fearful, she still wouldn’t be trustworthy around anyone but me, and eventually maybe not even me, and she’d still be pretty miserable even if we could get her to stop acting out on it. I can’t live with that, and she (and Greg and the cats) shouldn’t have to, either. So we took her back tonight.
I know it was the only thing to do, but I’m such a softy, and I’m so mad at a rescue group with the best of intentions but that I think ultimately failed her in not socializing her properly with people. She’ll never be able to make up for what she’s missed. We’re not right for her, unfortunately, but I love that dog, and I’m afraid she’s just going to get placed with another couple who isn’t prepared, and she’ll bite someone and get put down, and she doesn’t deserve that. And if not that, I think the best she has to look forward to is being mildly to fairly uncomfortable for the rest of her life, and maybe what we would consider (in a cat, at least) half-feral, only associating with other dogs and one person. And what kind of life is that? Even with all her problems, she could be sweet and funny, and she could’ve been such a great dog, if only she had been socialized properly. If only someone had noticed the problems earlier and worked hard to root it out – Greg and I were just too late. Anyway. Like an idiot I posted about it on facebook – set my status up about being unhappy and losing faith in dog rescues, and then based on some comments, elucidated a bit more. I really hope no one says anything to me about it at work tomorrow, nor tries to comfort me, or I’ll probably burst into tears, and after last night and today, I’m really tired of crying. (Plus there’s the whole “embarrassment over crying at work” thing.) On the upside, I can sit on the couch with Greg and not worry about a dog trying to eat his face. And I hope Sabrina finds the right person. I don’t know how realistic that is, but it’s what I’m clinging to right now.
If you’ve got pets, hug them for me, okay?
