Okay, so I’m a sucker for anything supernatural. Charmed, though pretty bad, was my jam. I loooooooove Supernatural. The Mummy movies. The Craft. Practical Magic. You name it, I’m on it. Jesus christ, I even liked Bloodsuckers, and that movie is fucking BAD.
So when Chiller airs a vampire movie called Bitten that I haven’t seen before, I thought, “Shit yeah, I’ll dvr this bitch and watch it over the weekend.” I mean, why not, right?
I’ll fucking tell you why not: it stars Jason Mewes. What is his deal? He might have been passingly amusing for a quick second as “Jay,” although I haven’t seen like the last two or three Kevin Smith movies, so I can’t talk about them – but goddamn, everything Mewes has starred in since then has been utter, utter shit. I’ve watched fifteen minutes of this dreck, most of which is commercials, and I can already tell this is going to be an abysmal retread of Out for Blood.
Oh my god. A sixty-something-year-old man just referenced “the shocker.” DELETED.
