Soup Thursday, 3/3/11: Quinoa and Three-Bean Soup
I was too upset about my boss’s death to make soup two weeks ago, so Greg very sweetly made it for us instead. He followed Nava Atlas’s recipe for Brown Rice and Three-Bean Soup, but used quinoa instead of brown rice. Quinoa is soooo good, and this soup is sooooo good. Seriously yummy, good for you, and fantastic comfort food when you’re down.
If you give a Kathy a blueberry-spinach smoothie…
she will drink the shit out of it, ask for more, and then reward you with this:
I’m finally getting back into the swing of things, dearhearts. Had a four-day weekend in New York, got my ass whooped Monday by the timechange and a cold, finally getting my energy- and free-time- levels back up to snuff, so pardon my poor blogging and blog-reading etiquette. More later! xoxo
Half awake, half unicorn
So enamored of this picture, I’m putting it everywhere.
Yeah, Greg wakes up to *this*. I know you’re jealous, it’s okay.
A fucking class act
No Swatch Sunday today, although I’d meant to do one. And we did have Soup Thursday this past Thursday, and I’m late on posting that. And if you’ve noticed my lack of presence on the interwebs (both posting here, or actually posting words instead of just pictures, and commenting on *your* blogs), well, here’s why: my boss died.
I’m having a harder time processing it than I expected, really. I knew I’d be sad, but I just hadn’t realized how hard it would hit. She was my direct supervisor for eight years, and an incredible woman. She believed in me, and made me feel valued, and listened to me when I had problems or concerns, and worked to resolve them. And she didn’t just do this for me, but for everyone. She liked to find common ground, like when parts of a committee we were on were at odds. She looked for the best in people, and she put their concerns and needs before her own frequently. She was always polite, always peaceful, very creative, and very graceful, in the “full of grace” sense. I learned at her memorial today that she was a devout Christian, which I never knew because she was private, and respectful of others’ beliefs, and while we talked about spirituality and stuff like meditation and Buddhism, she knew I wasn’t Christian and never pressed me on it. She was the best kind of Christian, in my opinion, the kind that leads by example and lives their beliefs.
And I know she stuck up for me on several occasions, when others would discuss my “appearance” with her: my piercings, tattoos, wild-colored hair. We don’t really have a dress code, and I don’t work closely with the public, and she basically told people to keep their problems with my appearance to themselves, because I did great work, didn’t dress inappropriately, and she appreciated my creativity and self-expression. That meant so much to me, to be supported that way, and I don’t know that I ever told her how much that meant to me. My therapist told me once that I dress like an extrovert, even though I’m an extreme introvert, and it’s the truth, I do. And I try to steel myself, convince myself that I don’t care what others think of how I look, but the truth is, sometimes I do care. And Betty sticking up for me…it was just…I can’t even explain. And I fucked up sometimes, I mean we all do, but I did, and Betty was always forgiving, always understanding that we’re all human and have shortcomings. She really just looked for the best in people, and focused on that.
The other part of it, and this might veer into unprofessional territory, or inappropriate transference, but it is what it is: in many ways, Betty reminded me of the good aspects of my mother. As you probably know, or have guessed, my family is pretty dysfunctional, to put it lightly, and I haven’t spoken to them in years. And it’s better that way, for me, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy. To an extent, Betty was kind of a mother-figure. In a less possibly-inappropriate-transference way, I would definitely say that Betty was a role model for me, absolutely. I admired her, and I looked up to her as a pretty shining example of graceful, vibrant, wise older-womanhood.
But she was a private person, and a caretaker, and put others’ needs before her own, and I think she also wanted at least one part of her life where things were “still normal” after the cancer, and so she put a brave face on it at work, and we all thought she was doing much better than she was. We had no idea how dire it really was, and so it came as a complete shock Wednesday, when we learned she’d been on life support for a week and a half, and was being taken off that evening. She passed away surrounded by her family, her pastor, some friends, and it was what she wanted. The rest of the week, I just think I avoided thinking about it, and shut it out. I’m “good” at compartmentalizing and not dealing with shit. This afternoon, we went to a celebration of her life/memorial at her church, and it was beautiful, but deeply sad at the same time.
Betty was a fucking class act. I’m grateful that I got to know her and work so closely with her for eight years, and learn from her. But it’s also a deep loss, and feels really fresh still, so I don’t know when my posting will get back up to snuff.
So, uh, fructose is real, real bad, apparently
Came across Sarah Wilson’s quitting sugar posts after surfing over to read about wabi sabi from Gala’s carousel links for today, and holy shit, does this make intuitive sense to me.
So I cut out added sugar, refined sugar, table sugar, refined carbs, etc, hit up the low GI diet, and felt pretty crap for four days. The fifth day? I felt AMAZING. Since the fifth day? I’ve felt more or less good, but not as amazing as that one day. What was the difference? I ate a shit ton of veggies that day, and since then I’ve been hitting fruit hard, too, in addition to veggies. I’m not saying this is necessarily the solution for everyone – but I’m pretty confident this is going to help me out, so I’m going to cut back on sugar even more, and aim for two pieces of fruit a day, instead of however much fruit I feel like eating (or at least fruit with a higher fiber-to-sugar ratio, like berries instead of apples). At least drastically cut back on fruit consumption until I’m sure I’m past my sugar/fructose addiction. (Interestingly – but perhaps not surprisingly – the “two pieces of fruit a day” is the same recommendation from Low Blood Sugar and You. Which I’m still working my way through. Won’t be surprised if they end up citing too much fructose as a problem for blood sugar, though.)
I’m re-posting this video, because it explains the whole thing really well, I think. I can’t embed it, but you can watch it here, on vimeo, or, even better, here, on Sarah Wilson’s blog, with some extra post-y goodness, and easy surfing to other posts of hers. 
I’m also definitely going to get David Gillespie’s books, to read about it in more depth. But there’s no doubt in my mind that if I have a problem with my blood *sugar* – which I do (slightly too high glucose 2 hours into the 5-hour test, and way too low 4 hours in) – the solution probably has something to do with monitoring my *sugar* intake. That seems like a no-brainer.
But I’m also excited just to come across more people discussing this stuff, and in clear, understandable, non-sketchy-pseudoscience ways, because it makes me feel less overwhelmed.
FOTD: Soft and bright? (3/2/11)
Wink of Pink ended up being a bit brighter than I’d remembered/intended. Oh well.
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Sometimes you just need some Crudbump and EpicMealTime
Got some bad/sad news today. Can’t really talk about it yet. I’m fine, Greg’s fine, the cats are fine. Other than that, I’m pretty sad. So, these vids and some strong tea are helping. (And, okay, yes, I cheated and had four Sausalito cookies – high GI carbs AND sugar, but fuck it, shit got real shitty this afternoon, and I decided to have cookies. And, yes, that’s probably also on some level giving in to emotional eating, but, again, fuck it, I’m aware of it, it was a conscious decision, and I was sad and tired and just not up to being 100% perfect on my new low GI/no-sugar thing. I’m allowed to not be perfect all the time, and this is one of those times, especially considering I didn’t go nuts and eat like a whole pack of Oreos or anything. Whatever. I’m just blabbing about sugar shit because I can’t blab about what’s upsetting me. Less talk.)
Drew Toothpaste made a video for my hands-down favorite Crudbump song (and what I wish I could say was my personal anthem, except that my guilt complex makes me “do shit” all the time, but whatever, I still have aspirations of not doing shit):
And a new EpicMealTime:
Morgana Cryptoria Mistress vs. MAC Media
As requested, here is a comparison. (I wasn’t sure if a side-by-side would be more helpful? But the thumbnails would be teensy. Let me know if you want them, though, and I’ll pop them up.)
Mistress is always first – on the left in the hand swatches, and the first lip swatch shown. Usually I swatch in alphabetical order, so it’s easier for me to remember what’s what, but I didn’t this time for some reason. Anyhoodle. (And, ugh, please ignore that spot.)
With flash:
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Without flash:
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So, there are the pictures. I feel like I’m terrible at describing/identifying colors, but I’ll give it a go anyway (and let me know if I’m off): Media is a bit more on the red side and a bit lighter, while Mistress is a bit darker and a bit more on the purple side?
