Delenn might be fictional, but she’s got it exactly right: we are star-stuff.
Delenn might be fictional, but she’s got it exactly right: we are star-stuff.
Haven’t finished coloring in the lady yet, because I haven’t quite decided how I want to color her, or whether I want to use paints, or pencils, or gel pens, or what. But here’s what I’ve got so far.
The 2012 Creating Your Goddess Year workbook and planner is available (affiliate link alert!) here (also through Goddess Leonie’s site if you’d rather not use an affiliate link). I love it, although I need to be better about working in it regularly. I did a bunch of the worksheets at the end of last year/beginning of this year, and now I need to keep up with the work and making magic happen! But also, I’ve done so much already. For instance, on my list of 100 things to do in 2012, I’ve already gotten my eyebrows waxed (hey, little things, but soothing), had a facial, learned some German, gone to Germany and London, practiced Shiva Nata, made socks for Angela (Elfine’s Lace Socks!), started a hat for Shaun (yes, Vic, it’s actually in the works – the earflaps are just giving me trouble, but it’s coming!), had a bubble bath, sent out goodie packages, had Contemplative Layabout Sundays, listened to rain, snuggled with Greg and the cats, watched old movies in my Snuggie, gotten some “shinies” (jewelry, sparkly stuff, makeup, whatever glitters – I’m a magpie, basically), made some makeup videos, gone to the dentist like an adult, hooped!, started learning ASL, gotten a jade egg (ahem), gotten some goodies from Snake Church (just hair flowers for now, still saving up for a booty skirt!), had a great anniversary, got a couples’ massage with Greg, made madeleines several times, had spa days, VOTED, celebrated full moons, had a party, got some comics, gone swimming, gone camping, and fixed my bike! GO ME! And I’ve still got tons of fun magical stuff left to do before this year is out! I love this planner, holy dinger.
-Delenn was 100% correct (no surprise): “The molecules of your body are the same molecules that make this station and the nebula outside, that burn inside the stars themselves. We are star-stuff. We are the Universe, made manifest, trying to figure itself out.”
-the FEMME SHARK MANIFESTO (also posted on GYaE!)
-Patton Oswalt is KILLING IT for me. Got all his albums, except “Feelin’ Kinda Patton” (seems similar to “No Complaints,” which I watch repeatedly on Netflix, so wasn’t in as big a rush to get it as I was the stuff I *hadn’t* heard), and he is cracking my shit up.
-FailBlog – usually I’m a bit of a misanthrope, but sometimes, like when I’m reading FailBlog, I REALLY fucking love people. (I know! At the same time I’m being a big old hippy – I don’t know how it works, it just is that way.)
don’t know shit
“explanation” of Lent that cracks me up
I don’t know if this troller is “for real” or not, and I don’t care, it makes me laugh
I want this shirt FOR REAL. I WILL have it
(found via FailBlog):
-revisiting cyberpunk books I read in middle school. God. DAMN. Neuromancer is FUCKING AMAZING. And I’m so excited about what I’m going to read when I’m done with it – revisiting all the golden oldies, AND some new stuff, too. Fuuuuuuuuck, I love it!
AND WE WERE JUGGALOS! AND IT WAS AWESOME! (Picture shamelessly stolen and edited; taken by the RAD JANET! Who was the Cheshire Cat, and it was awesome! AND she wore Clinique’s Different Grape lipstick, which I’d been lemming, so I got to see the color “in action” as it were, and that clinched it. It’s beautiful. And I have it. And now I need to use it in a look.)
If you think you can handle the INSANITY, click!
It’s only been about…what…two weeks since I did the last one of these? I guess that’s not too bad. But I’ve been SUPER cranky and irritable lately (nicotine patch + PMS = mega bitch Kathy, fyi), and paying attention to, and taking note of, stuff that makes me happy, and then processing that in these type of posts, really helps my entire week have a better glow to it. So. Let’s see if I can get better about keeping this shit up regularly. Here we go:
-overhearing an *in-depth* discussion of threesomes (inside voices, y’all, really, at all times, if you don’t want to be overheard discussing this shit – but it was awesome, and TMI, and hilarious, and right-on; one of the two talkers was like, “NO. Straight-up:no. The logistics are a nightmare, and no one wants to be the one standing to the side, waiting.” And I was thinking, “….right?! (mental high-five)” because that’s what I’ve always thought.)
-passing a little boy in a Target parking lot, only to have him freak out trying to get his dad’s attention because he thought I was the Wicked Witch (awesome!)
-a horse-drawn carriage giving people rides in downtown Durham
-Marie Antoinette/Helena Bonham Carter-inspired hair (made possible by the awesomely awesome Osis Dust It, and like four bobby pins, seriously! love Osis!):
-Bull McCabe’s – awesome bar, awesome food (veggie quesadillas SO FUCKING GOOD), and they saved me from starvation (okay, really, a blood sugar crash and ensuing bitchiness – so actually they saved everyone that night)
-being complimented on my “sick” shoes (will post pics later)
-holding a tiny frog, and returning him from a corner on our porch (where he seemed confused and trapped) to the grass (where he seemed much happier)
-being able to (on occasion, and more deliberately) respond to triggers from a place of calmness, respect, and compassion (rather than unconsciously and immediately flipping the “bitch switch”)
-putting up a swanky new hummingbird feeder, and then being outside and wishing I could see a hummingbird – and having TWO immediately show up; one later sat on a tree branch and sang for about five minutes – magical!
-playing Thunderstone with Jj, who pwned us hard
-seeing a grrl in a tshirt that read “Pretty in Pink, Wicked in Spandex” (just made me laugh, really, but in a good way)
-the universe sending me great medicine on a day I needed it most: having wonderful chats with a distant coworker I’ve just met and really like; my new Queen Frostine I Stand with Planned Parenthood Pink Icing Ring arriving; hummingbirds AND bats; thunderstorms; and Greg – I’m truly blessed
-that moment when you finally figure out the answer to something that’s been troubling you, and you know you’re on the right path because of the unwinding in your chest
-acupuncture & therapy & the universe sending me feathers when I’m on the right track (I swear, every time I make a “break through,” or shitty things finally start to turn around, I find a feather on the ground that day)
-a date with Greg at Dos Perros! delicious! and soooo indulgent!
-casual steampunk – a grrl at a show in stealth steampunk: unobtrusive little clues, like goggles that aren’t ornate and look at first glance like glasses; a pencil stuck into her bun; overall dress; simple boots; simple and practical – but then you put it together and are like, “duh, steampunk fan right hurr!” loved it
-Fat Transfer – AMAZING MUSIC/PERFORMANCE/LYRICS/MESSAGE – loved it, now you go love it (also, check out this awesome, right-on post; look at the heart and brains and compassion on that lady, new grrl crush, swoon) (AND, right now she’s on tour with Cher Horowitz, so you might maybe kind of sort of NEED to go, if there’s a show near you, just sayin’)
-Earth Balance – a vegan cover band that killed it, so hilarious
-being part of the Makeup Heroes Collab YT channel – I definitely feel like, skillz-wise, I’m a total noob in this group, but it’s so much fun, and I like being challenged/pushed to be more imaginative and improve my skillz, so yay!
-a teeny, tiny emerald green dragonfly landing on me, and staying a while – beautiful!
-more hummingbirds! (I really need to refill the feeder – shame on me for that.)
-yard bunny sightings!
-the absolutely divine and delectable (and super long-lasting) scent of Kiss My Sass’s Violet Cupcakes (favorite perfume of all time)
-doing more random acts of kindness, or surprise goodie packages
-playing ukulele (and filming a song!)
-going for a long walk (about a mile – longer than I’d intended) to get cigarettes before trivia Tuesday night, and meeting a kind soul; we shared some wonderful conversation, and he really lifted my spirits and gave me a much-needed perspective adjustment; I gave him some money to get food, and wished I could have done more, because I think of the two of us, I really benefited the most from that chance encounter; thank you, universe
-coming oh-so-close to winning a round of trivia at the Pinhook (the theme was American tourist attractions, and when I heard that I immediately thought of Gaiman’s American Gods, which I love, and in which the characters visit many attractions – lo and behold, it was an answer! yay!)
-no longer being on lamictal, and therefore being able to drink scrummy Rosemary’s Babies again! YAY!
-Holy shit, I love MIKA, and this video in particular:
-and I am especially appreciative of all my friends and loved ones (in “real life” and online), because I’ve been kind of moody and had shit troubling me, and y’all have helped lift my spirits, too; thank you so, so, so much, and I am truly honored to know you and count you as friends
-getting over myself and my anxieties; becoming more confident, more open to possibility (less socially anxious and social phobic – not being freaked out by small talk); learning to be comfortable taking risks
-corn on the cob
-watching True Blood with Greg
-Harper’s Island (so good!)
-sprite and rum, or sprite and cachaca
-AkAngie’s YT channel – bird cuteness GALORE! I have desperately been wanting birds lately (especially to have lovebirds again), but Greg thinks they’re too noisy, and I haven’t fully worked out plans for an outdoor walk-in aviary that would be temperature controlled (don’t want my babies getting too hot or too cold!), so for now I’m getting my fix thanks to Angie and her adorable birds! Good lord, they make me all gooey and schmoopy.
-speaking of birds, the other day, I was having a smoke on our front porch, and a hummingbird came by the feeder, and then circled my head for like a minute!!!! it was MAGICAL. It was the day after I redid my color, so I don’t know if it thought I was some large blue flower, but I just held still and enjoyed being so close to such a tiny, beautiful thing.
-Sharon von Etten
-my darling Greg
-THIS, SO MUCH
-Debbie Reynolds’s auction catalog/collection – so many pretties, so many awesomes, love it!
-sequined guitar straps (you can kind of see the sequins’ reflections in this pic – sorry I couldn’t get a better one) – this belonged to the guitarist in Jews and Catholics, who we saw play at the Pinhook with Adam Thorn and Tina Sparkle – and that whole show was amazing
-blowing a grrl’s mind the other night at the Pinhook. I was very amused (since I tend to think of myself as somewhat boring, and therefore not very mind-blowing). Here’s how it went down: we were talking about dance parties, and watching people dance, and I’d already mentioned that my husband worked at the Pinhook. Then I mentioned that in the late nineties, I used to go to Legends regularly, and she was like, “(head tilt)…Isn’t that a gay club?” “Yes.” “…but you just said your husband….?” And I was like, “….yeah.” And her friend immediately got it, but she didn’t, so then I had to break it down, all, “My husband’s straight; I’m queer.” And then she looked kind of gobsmacked. Not in a bad way, just in a befuddled way. She was a lesbian herself, which made me a bit confused because surely she’s at least met bisexual people, if not people on all parts of the spectrum? Anyway, it tickled me that, me, at 31, could still blow minds. Also, it just underlined for me how fucking farcical DOMA is, since it boils down to: 1-you’re not defending marriage (divorce, single parenthood, abusive marriages, etc, etc), 2-queers are getting married (me, for instance, or, say, couples in a poly relationship, or lesbians/gays in Canada or states where it’s legal), so really, 1-DOMA is a joke, and 2-you’re just being a dick to *some* of “the gays”, so obviously you’re failing in *your* goal of being a dick to all the gays, so you might as well just QUIT IT. But this is TiLT, not soapbox time, so I’ll step down. On with the fun stuff!
-Adam motherfucking Thorn! Rocks it hard! According to Adam, Greg and I have seen him in all his musical incarnations – starting long ago with Tapeworm Love when he disemboweled a hugeass teddy bear at the Noble Street house. Which was hilarious. And messy. (Pretty sure that was the same night I fell out of love with screwdrivers.) Anyway, he played a show at the Pinhook (the same show with the sequined guitar strap) the other night, Saturday? Friday? Saturday? Let’s go with Saturday, and it was *fucking amazing*. “Nonstop Thinking Machine” makes me lose my shit. (Because it’s awesome, and catchy, and great, and makes sense, and also because *I’m* a nonstop thinking machine so…yeah, a little bit of narcissism-induced-liking there. I won’t lie. But also the line about getting closure is something I need to *know* on a cellular, non-rational, deep-self level, because, yeah, issues there; so I like it because it’s a good reminder. And catchy as shit.)
-Tina Sparkle – did I mention that was an awesome show at the Pinhook? Did I mention *the Pinhook* is awesome?
-LONG WEEKENDS! Fuck yes! Because that also means extra napping and extra laziness!
-crafting for others (STILL, and ALWAYS)
-when some dude biked past me and Greg on campus and yelled out, “Sweet hair!” Thanks!
-seeing bats and fireflies at night, on the same night! (I been waiting for them fireflies to come out, and they finally did last night. Do bats eat fireflies? Is that why I’m not seeing many this summer?)
-MADELEINES – per Robyn’s request, I will be posting recipes later, so I’ll save the pictures for that post, and leave this TiLT text heavy, muahahaha
-a Smuckers car (I don’t know – it was like the Weinermobile but it was for Smuckers. And the roof was painted like a Smuckers jar lid. It was pretty sweet. Wish I’d taken a cellphone pic at least. Oh well.)
-”Mary Jane’s Last Dance” (which, apparently “someone” was a little drunk when she wrote that down, because I actually wrote down “Rosemary Last Dance”)
-a hippie grrl in a gorgeous velvet-trimmed skirt walking barefoot in downtown Durham at about midnight
Edited to add: have fallen into a hole of this site, holy shit, so awesome, so inspiring, so weird, so lovely, so grotesque, so amazing. Sometimes I forget how much I love art, and all types of it. I guess because what I usually just come across in my day is kind of….meh, or shit I’m not into. (For example, was discussing Sasha Grey’s Neu Sex today – I mean, I guess it’s art, if she says it is, but it’s not shit I care about.) But then I find sites like Nihilsentimentalgia09, and remember/realize that there’s plenty of art out there that I *adore* and am amazed by. Maybe I don’t trip over it constantly in Durham, or my house, but it’s there if I look. Or, better yet, if I start to make the stuff I like myself. There’s an idea…
Meant to post this yesterday, but didn’t get around to it, obviously.
-strip-&-go-nakeds (aka, pink panty droppers)
-”ain’t got no water, but I got a cold beer” (the Piedmont Boys)
-Turbo Pro Project
-realizing that there’s no musical genre I don’t like at least something from anymore; and that bellydance was the gateway drug for that
-getting to hang out with MEL & JESS!!!!
-getting my ass to a book club meeting
-”Once you make a decision the universe conspires to make it happen.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
-discovering the work of Michael Carson (here’s a sample)
-discovering the work of Wendy Kowalski
-a three-cupcake day (naughty of me, but made Wednesday so much better)
-peanutella and madeleines and lots of warm fuzzies from friends (made yesterday so much better)
-blue egg shell (robin’s egg?)
-the first irises of Spring
-The Breaks – AMAZING live; wish I’d have enough money on me to buy a cd
-epiphanies/clarity/radical self-love/slowly figuring out what makes me tick, and getting a better grasp on things
-dogs enjoying car rides, with their ears flapping in the wind
-NAPS ARE AWESOME!
-Jessie J – soooo awesome and adorable and I just love her songs and her style. This is my current fave:
-Liverpuddlian accents, like John Bishop’s (I actually have no trouble following him, and I think that accent is adorable, big teeth and all.)
-SingSnap one-takes – it’s a game I’ve made up for myself, where I pick a song I’m pretty sure I know, but haven’t heard in a while, and record it on the first take; no practicing, and no listening to the song beforehand (& therefore getting practice to not take myself so seriously)
-hooping indoors at 1 am!
-lazy weekends! staying up way late, sleeping in way late, and generally being more lazy & irresponsible than usual – it’s a great way to recharge your batteries
-Indian food with Jj & Amanda, catching up, great conversation; we haven’t hung out with them in a while, and they are too, too awesome, so I really enjoyed myself! (Also, the mango mojitos at Mint are like, double the size I expected, so I actually got pretty shitty, but it was all good)
-the RSL community
-Lil Buck & Yo-Yo Ma’s collaboration – utterly breathtaking and amazing and just makes so much sense
-decaf coffee and herbal smokes (*I realize that smoking *anything* is risky business, but I really like the ritual aspects of smoking, and getting to pretend I’m a dragon – I won’t lie about that – but can’t smoke tobacco/nicotine for a plethora of reasons, so I’m enjoying my Honeyrose flavored herbal smokes for the moment; not too often, because I haven’t had my shit together early enough in the morning to do decaf and herbal smokes, so it’s still a rarity usually saved for the weekends, but nice to sit outside and partake in a ritual thing. I can see how people would get “addicted” to coffee and a crossword puzzle, say.)
-The Usual Error, and especially the concept of “the clawless swipe”/”fierceness” – both things I need to work on, and I’m trying
-pinterest! I love, love, love making lists, and I love making vision boards, but I haven’t done it yet *in real life*, and honestly? It’s so much easier to do it virtually on pinterest. No cutting and pasting, you know? (Pinterest seems to be getting slammed right now, so I can’t link my little vision boards at the moment. I’ll do it later.)
-good advice from friends who are great, empathetic listeners, and similar enough to me to understand my concerns, but dissimilar enough that they don’t have the same blindspots I do, and can give me a more balanced reading of things, and good advice (Parts of this week have been somewhat trying for me, but we’re keeping it positive here, right? So that’s all I’m going to say about that. Oh, and: thanks, Richard! It helped immensely.)
-BATS! It’s bat season! LOOOOOVE IT! (video to come)
-ivy (or creepers or whatever)
-full moons – here’s April’s rising
-Milla’s Divine Comedy (on repeat all week – I’d forgotten how much I loved these songs, and how resonant some of them were; and now I have guitar tab?! whoa, watch out!)
-secret crafty projects and mailing things to people
-getting to watch birds preen themselves (one of the things I miss from when I had lovebirds, but I don’t think I’m ready for birds as pets again anytime soon)
-fuzzy caterpillars (I didn’t touch him, because sometimes they’re poisonous – but he might be a Leopard Moth Caterpillar, that would be the best! If I get to see a Leopard Moth in the not-too-far-off future; they’re gorgeous.)
-GANGSTAGRASS! tonight! soooo excited!