spinster-in-training

FOTD: Mocha Fever (09/07/10)

kayeffjay — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 23:11:04 +0000

Please pardon my eyebrows. I know I need to clean them up, but I’m torn between caring about them and not giving a shit. Like, half of me is thinking, “Ack!”, and half of me is thinking, “…eh, fuck it.” So far the apathetic, lazy half is winning by convincing me that if I just wait a little longer, I can go to Moshi and have my brows waxed. And get another super awesome mini-facial! I had never had a facial before, but I had a mini one last time I got my brows waxed, and it was *divine*. I think I may have mentioned on here that immediately afterwards, I kind of wanted to marry the aesthetician? Yeah. Anyhoodles, today’s look came out slightly more on the peachy side of things than I was expecting, but I like it anyway. (I’ve been meaning to work on my hesitance over using orange. Baby steps.)

-Skin79 Super+ Triple Functions bb cream
-e.l.f. Shimmering Facial Whip in Camilia (blush)
-Too Faced Shadow Insurance
-Maybelline EyeStudio Color Pearls Marbleized Eyeshadow #40 Mocha Mirage (pink, veined side on lid & crease; brown side in crease)
-Maybelline EyeStudio Lasting Drama Gel Eyeliner #950 Blackest Black (upper and lower lashlines)
-Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in Zero (waterline)
-Nyx Doll Eye Long Lash #DE01 Extreme Black
-Too Faced Borderline
-Maybelline Shine Sensational Lip Gloss #50 Cocoa Fever

I’m sure there’s a “maybe it’s Maybelline” joke in there somewhere, but I’m too lazy to reach for it.

It kind of weirds me out a bit, though, that my eyeshadow seems to match my freckles. Hm.

Crafting for charity!

kayeffjay — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 14:30:48 +0000

I’ve been meaning to do some sewing, as my planned sewing projects are piling up, and also because I’d like to get better at it. And I’ve been thinking about sewing up some pillowcases – so running across this (Craft Hope’s ninth project) is very fortuitous!

ConKerr Cancer sends cheery pillowcases to kids with cancer, to help brighten their hospital room. I think this is a great idea, so I’m going to whip up some pillowcases for us (the “practice” pillowcases), and some to send to ConKerr Cancer.

Finally, an FO!

kayeffjay — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 23:47:32 +0000

Crocheted slippers, for myself because my feet are always fucking freezing. From this pattern on Craftster. It took me more than 20 minutes, but not more than a couple hours – and really, I was watching tv while crocheting, so not even a solid two hours. I used some Red Heart Super Saver I had in my stash, and am actually rather pleased with the results. They are a little slippery on the bottom, though, so I’ll have to do something about that. (Although I used puffy paint on the bottom of a pair of slippers for Greg, and while he likes them, I don’t think they have enough traction. So I probably won’t use puffy paint for these.) But as long as I’m not running around on our wood floors, I’ll be fine. And they are super comfy and snuggly, and not too warm considering they’re acrylic. And safe to toss in the washer and dryer! My favorite.

FOTD: Rattata’s Strawberry (9/4/10)

kayeffjay — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 23:34:23 +0000

No full face shot for this look, unfortunately. I was in a rush and only took the one, and just now discovered it’s horribly blurry. And no matter how well I blend it in, Benefit Lemon Aid seems to throw the shadow colors off, and in kind of a gross, yellow-ish way. So I’ve replaced my trusty Too Faced Shadow Insurance, since I don’t have any other eye primers to fall back on now – but I am planning on trying some indie primers soon-ish, so we’ll see how that goes.

-Benefit Lemon Aid
-Aromaleigh Rocks! Sonic Eyes Mineral Eyeshadow in Doubledare (lid & crease)
-Shiro Cosmetics Eyeshadow in Rattata (crease)
-CoverGirl Liquiline Blast #410 Black Fire
-Nyx Doll Eye Long Lash #DE01 Extreme Black
-Too Faced Borderline Anti-Feathering Lip Pencil
-Hi-Fi Cosmetics Lip Glaze in Strawberry Fields Forever

Swatch Sunday, 09/05/10: Urban Decay 24/7 Jackpot

kayeffjay — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 00:37:12 +0000

-top, left to right: Binge, Eldorado, Electric, Gunmetal
-middle, left to right: Mildew, Ransom, Rockstar, Stash
-bottom, left to right: Whiskey, Zero

Crafty Goodness: Friendship bracelets/knotted bracelets

kayeffjay — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 19:48:37 +0000

BOOM: This video made the different knots totally clear to me.

And I found it on the same site that I found a shit ton of patterns, all charted out and free to get: friendship-bracelets.net. (Just click on the patterns tab to get to the patterns, and you can even refine your search by specifying stuff in the sidebar like how many strings, how many rows, number of colors, etc.)

And you know what? I am going to tackle that BEAST of a pattern – OH SHIT, Y’ALL!! There’s a Totoro pattern! Squee! I definitely have to add that to my to-make list. Anyway, I’m going to tackle this beast again, with renewed vigor, and hopefully it’ll go much more smoothly. (Assuming I can keep track of 32 strings and what of the pattern I’ve already done. We’ll see.)

And if you like the one Mindy gave me, I’m pretty sure it’s this pattern.

Fact: otters are adorbs

kayeffjay — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 14:17:31 +0000

I’m pretty sure otters are the cure to everything. They could probably bring about world peace, if they’d just sit down with all the heads of state for a quick minute.

(hat tip to Joanne Casey, internet caretaker)

Crafting mistakes and mental health blah blah.

kayeffjay — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 01:36:00 +0000

So one of the things that helped me get over my funk last week was the package of goodies from Mindy. I traded her a thing of Nocturne for some maple tea, and she very sweetly included some extra goodies, including this cutie:

I’d made some (very) simple knotted bracelets ages ago at summer camp, so I figured I’d just pick it right back up. I tend to jump head first into new crafts – when I picked knitting back up a decade after I’d learned the basics, I just made a sweater. It turned out pretty well. Not so much with knotted bracelets. The stuff I did at camp was super simple. The pattern I picked out to start back up with, and this bracelet from Mindy (& others she’s posted)? VERY complex. So of course my interest is just piqued even more. But I have to step back and start with the beginnings, and maybe I’ll be making rad, complex bracelets before too long, too.

2-Ironically, this is the other thing that made Thursday a turning point: someone smashed the back windshield of our car while we slept the night before.

Don’t get me wrong, it sucked a whole fucking lot for Greg to head out for work that morning, discover that shit, and then we had to deal with it. But it really put shit into perspective for me, and gave me the good swift kick in the ass I needed: no one was hurt, nothing had even been stolen from the car, and while it was a pain in the ass, it was actually pretty easy to fix, and not too terribly expensive. Made me realize the shit I’d been freaking out about for the previous week-ish 1-was mostly in my mind and not actually a real problem, and 2-if it was a real problem, wasn’t anywhere NEAR as big a problem as it seemed. So, yeah. Thursday was a pretty good day, actually.

So, basically, I haven’t been taking care of my mental and emotional well-being very well for a while, which combined with my increasing anxiety to leave me wide open to my stupid inner perfectionist. If you ever hear people talking about taking “me time” or doing stuff to “enrich your inner personal life” or “recharge” or whatever – turns out it’s really kind of important, and not just fluffy shit. I was so focused on trying to handle my anxiety, and trying to find time to spend with Greg, and get day-to-day shit done, that I didn’t notice I was pretty much isolating myself and being a hermit at home. Which made things worse, and left me wide open for a blindsiding by that stupid inner perfectionist. Which is super harsh and self-critical, so my mental dialogue was really negative and along the lines of “I don’t deserve nice things, particularly a loving, supportive husband,” and then I tried to sabotage that relationship, so I wouldn’t have something I didn’t deserve. Nice, huh? Yeah.

I saw my doctor Friday about it in case my meds needed tweaking, and she put me on a mood stabilizer. Which is kind of a big deal because it’s not easy for me to consider that I might be anywhere on the bipolar spectrum. And by “not easy” I might actually mean “one of my biggest nightmares, given my family history.” You know. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to. The good news is, my therapist thinks there’s no way I’m bipolar; that it was just a temporary “mood-state,” nothing that will necessarily recur. And her interpretation of causes and events, etc., makes a lot of sense, and also triggered that nasty feeling in my stomach that comes up with she hits on something I’m trying to hide from myself. Actually, all I really care about is figuring out why the fuck I would try to sabotage my best relationship, and never doing that again. But, while I know the bipolar spectrum is wide and varied, and have had bipolar friends who were nice people and nothing like my dad, the idea of being bipolar myself is a heavy, troublesome prospect; so it’s nice to have that lifted. (Even if that relief makes me feel like a bit of a hypocrite with my whole “the stigma around mental illness is bullshit, and mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of” soapbox. But I’m not perfect.)

The only problem is, the mood stabilizer comes with some serious side effects and potential risks – and the most serious potential (and potentially fatal) risk is increased if you stop it and then start it up again. So, while I’m certainly not enjoying the flu-like symptoms and dizziness, and particularly not enjoying the muscle tremors (and worrying about possibly *keeling over* in bellydance class when my legs give out), I think the best course at this point is to stay on the medication until it’s certain that I won’t have a breakdown like this again. As much as I don’t want to take any unnecessary drugs, I don’t want to stop taking it prematurely only to find out I do actually need it, and then starting again and running a greater risk. (If I’m remembering the names correctly, it’s a risk of Stevens-Johnson syndrome, which could then potentially develop into toxic epidermal necrosis.) But I have a follow-up with my doctor next week, and will be sure to bring it up with her and see what she thinks.

And if you made this far, you get a virtual cookie! Or a knotted bracelet in your favorite colors, under the condition that you try to be more mindful of your *own* mental and emotional well-being, and cut yourself some slack because perfectionism is destructive and full of suckitude. I’ve been wearing my bracelet because it’s cute, but it’s also a good (and needed) reminder that people aren’t so scary but can actually be quite friendly and kind, and so I don’t need to be so social-phobic. (Which is a direct result of the perfectionism, in the form of fearing looking like an ass in front of other people. Which is ridiculous, really, when you consider all the occasions I am perfectly willing to be goofy and make a *complete* ass of myself, and don’t feel embarrassed about it. Cognitive dissonance for the….not-win, or something.)

New obsession: dubstep, holy shit.

kayeffjay — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 14:46:13 +0000

Insanely incredible. I’m willing to bet this dude would have no problem not only keeping up in my bellydance classes, but excelling. I think I may love dubstep, and I certainly need to learn how to dance to it. I’m just slack-jawed in delight.

FOTD: (9/1/10)

kayeffjay — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 00:02:35 +0000

The eyeliner ended up a bit thicker than I’d intended. (My hand wasn’t perfectly steady and I decided to go with the fuckup rather than take the whole eye off and start over.) And I have no idea what that weird white spot is on my chin in the full face shot – it wasn’t there moments before, when I checked for lip glaze smudges (from moving the jewelry back into place after putting lippie on). Maybe something on my camera? Who knows, who cares. Anyways.

-Skin79 Super+ Triple Function bb cream
-Benefit Boi-ing
-e.l.f. All Over Color Stick in Golden Peach (as blush)
-Benefit Lemon Aid
-Meow Cosmetics Eyeshadow in Cursed (lid and crease)
-Meow Cosmetics Eyeshadow in Paranormal (crease)
-Fyrinnae Loose Eyeshadow in French Vanilla Shake (inner corner & brow highlight)
-CoverGirl Liquiline Blast #410 Black Fire
-Nyx Doll Eye Long Lash #DE01 Extreme Black
-Too Faced Borderline Anti-Feathering Lip Pencil (to line lips)
-Hi-Fi Cosmetics Spotlight Lip Glaze in Gin & Sin